Life of Dyes

Well at Least I’m Functioning

“If you could read my mind, you wouldn’t be smiling.”

― Tamara Ireland Stone, Every Last Word

Disclaimer: This is a serious post about a serious topic. Don’t care about it? Then don’t read it. Find something else around the blog to snack on. There are some updates at the end of the post about upcoming travel and events we’ll be at.

I’ve mentioned it around the blog before, I have an ongoing battle with mental illness every. single. day. It’s been a constant companion since I was a child and it will be until I’m old and grey. It’s an unfortunate part of life that gets an unhealthy trigger from the smallest of things.

This time it was moving. Yeah, I know I was excited to move. I was happy about it. I still am happy to be out of our apartment, but sometimes change is all it takes for a downward spiral. My routines and familiars have changed and it set my brain into a panic. Like it’s clinging for some type of normalcy it’s used to. So after Alex mentioned I went through the same thing when we moved from Athens, I looked it up. I couldn’t be the only one suffering from a depression episode caused by relocation…could I? Nope. It’s actually fairly common, even for people who are neurotypical.

Relocation depression hit me hard. Add in the fact that we moved in with friends after spending six years of it just being the two of us, my brain is going absolutely nuts. There’s constant doubts of myself, my relationships, and just this house in general. Don’t get me wrong, functioning me loves living here, loves the company, and just loves life in general. Depression me wants to hide under the covers and hiss at anyone who disturbs her slumber. I haven’t slept much, ok. I need sleep, but it doesn’t come to someone whose anxiety hits hard whenever she drives up to the house.

There’s hope for normalcy though, like my conversations in the morning with one of my roommates as we sip our coffee. Or my date nights with Alex. Hey, even chopping off my hair yesterday helped (don’t worry, I got it professionally done). It’ll take time for my anxiety to switch off and my depression ridden brain to go “oh, this is our new normal, sorry for the freak out.” Until then, I just hope no one gives up on me and that I don’t give up on myself. That’s half the battle. Eventually the sun will set on this episode and I’ll have a period of calm.

It’s often confusing though, especially being someone that craves change. I can process that it’s natural and inevitable, but then it happens and I’m so shocked by it. I honestly don’t even remember being in an episode when we moved from Athens, but I don’t linger on the hard times. It’s the progress after an episode I try and hold on to: the excitement of life, the joy of our travels, and just the joy of being with Alex. Sappy, I know. Don’t care. I just know that eventually, it’ll even out….until my next episode. They’ve been more spread out though, so here’s to hoping for the best

Some fun updates to change the mood, we’re heading to the Travel and Adventure Show next weekend at Cobb Galleria. We’re basically rushing to go see Josh Gates on Saturday after Alex gets off work. He’s our hero, ok. Modern day Indiana Jones. Also Samantha Brown, who I wanted to be when I was younger (because who doesn’t want to travel and eat for their job?). So if you’re looking for something to do, come out! We’ll be hanging around all weekend, so come find us.

We’re also heading to Charlotte in May for the Broadway show Anastasia. I was OBSESSED with the animated movie when I was kid. I burned out two VHS tapes. TWO. Then in June we’ll be road tripping across the US. We’re hitting six states in total, the primaries will be Colorado and Texas though. Five days in Rocky Mountains National Park is gonna be a dream for me. So keep an eye out for all the adventure and, of course, food to come in the next few months. As usual, travel well and travel often.

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